Do you love owning STUFF?

A huge fan of stuff? That’s great! So are we, here at Boring Internet!

And that’s why you can now find a bunch of new stuff in our Boring Internet store! From today, you can pick up a whole host of new items; we’ve launched 4 new products in the store and re-released a product that was in the store around April this year.

What’s more, as we’ve launched a shitload of awesome new stuff, everything’s available for special low prices until October 15th to celebrate!

So what’s available, and for how much?

*

THE NEW STUFF

Journal: DIARY OF AN EMO – Fan of Misunderstood’s Diary of an Emo series here on Boring Internet? Well now you can snag your very own Diary of an Emo journal, complete with a cover design by Misunderstood himself! 160 pages, with page formats you can pick from (blank, lined, dot grid or task journal), the journal is available now for the price of $9.99. (From October 16th onwards, this item will be priced at $10.99)

Calendar Print: X-CON – Did you buy a copy of the X-Con novel? Or just a fan of the fantastic logo I put together for the front cover of the book? Whichever it is, you can now snag a 2009 calendar print of the logo. It’s available now for the price of $4.49. (From October 16th onwards, this item will be priced at $4.99)*

Wall Clock: DISPLACING BLAME – Here’s advice you can use, on a handy wall clock! You can now check out some of the best advice in the world, pasted on a fantastic wall clock. It’s available now for the price of $11.74. (From October 16th onwards, this item will be priced at $12.49)

Mini Button: DISPLACING BLAME – Here’s advice you can use, on a fancy mini button! Now you can flash this off with your mini button collection, showing the best advice in the world to anyone admiring your collection. It’s available now for the price of $1.59. (From October 16th onwards, this item will be priced at $1.74)

Mini Poster: DISPLACING BLAME – Here advice you can use, on a great mini wall poster print! Now you can stick the world’s best advice on any one of your walls for your viewing pleasure! It’s available now for the price of $5.49. (From October 16th onwards, this item will be priced at $5.99)

THE OLD STUFF

Tile Coaster: SEAGULL – The world’s happiest seagull will hold your drink without ever faltering its grin. To celebrate the release of these great new products, you can snag these tile coasters for the newly reduced price of $4.79. (From October 16th onwards, this item will return to the price of $4.99)

Throw Cushion: THE QUEEN IS AN ALIEN – Show everyone you know the Queen’s greatest secret with this comfortable throw cushion. To celebrate the release of these great new products, you can snag this throw cushion for the newly reduced price of $16.79. (From October 16th onwards, this item will return to the price of $17.49)

*

So if you want some kickass stuff, head over to the store now and grab these items while they’re all funky reduced prices!

* The 2009 X-Con Calendar Print will be available for a limited time only and will likely be replaced around late November – early December 2008. This item is the first in a limited line of X-Con logo products and these will not be re-released in the future.

Info dump

Here’s more information you may or may not care about! This time, it regards our brand new comic series, The Biased (which hasn’t been as successful yet as our Halo-themed Boring Comics, but it’s early days yet). For more information about the site not related to The Biased, scroll down a ways.

*

Anyone who’s reading The Biased will notice that it comes in a wonderful chaptered format. You may, then, be wondering just how many chapters, and/or how many pages per chapter there will be in the story that I’m aiming to tell in The Biased.

I don’t know exact numbers yet because I haven’t written ahead far enough to be sure, but at the moment I’m estimating between 6 and 8 chapters to the story. It may be more and it may be less, but that’s the ballpark figure you can expect. Pages per chapter-wise, I can’t tell you; that’s going to vary on a chapter-by-chapter basis unfortunately. Originally I had expected chapter 1 would be 10 pages, but so far it looks like it will be more than that. So it’s anyone’s guess for now.

What that does mean it that, given the current update schedule, unless I ramp up or slow down production on The Biased, the storyline will likely take around 8 months to a year to tell. That’s a long time, even with regular updates, but I don’t see a change in the rate of production, especially while I’ve got a job. If the website gets profitable, and then gets profitable enough for me to be earning over £15k a year from it, sure, I’ll drop the job and work solely on the site. At the moment though, it’s still in the red (or black, whichever it is when you’ve spent more than you’ve earnt).

Anyone that does take note of site features, though, will notice there’s been a tendency of late for longer-term projects; Twist’s release run won’t be finished until around February 2009, the A-Z of Why the Internet is Shit won’t end until early 2009, the Boring Comics storyline has been going since July now and won’t finish until sometime in October probably (or later). Hm…

For anyone wondering if I’ll do a machinima based around The Biased, the answer is a vague ’stay tuned’.

*

Concerning the rest of the site, there are some new things coming in October which I might have held off to the Winter update, but compiling a list of things I want to add, I’ll be snowed under when December comes. Expect a new section of articles (probably), a mailing list and possibly RSS feeds – though the feeds will probably be held until December to be released with the CSS version of the site.

*

Real life-wise, nothing much new to post. I’m selling another Amazon voucher, so if you want that, head over to here to stand a chance at grabbing it. The voucher’s value is £10 but it’s going for £9.50 at the moment with two bids, so you’re making a 5% saving by buying it. Auction has 1 day left!

The Fall Update

The Fall update, which has been spoken about at your uncaring eyes and ears, will be released on Monday in its fantastic entirety. That’s the 8th of September; for all those unaware of dates and how the progression of time functions.

Because I’m so nice, here’s a quick list of changes coming in the update, in bullet-point format to avoid elaboration:

• New update schedule
• New comic ‘The Biased’ set in Halo universe
• New integrated chat
• New section in fiction ‘Not-So-Nice Nursery Rhymes’
• Fixed header and ads on Pixelated Anne pages
• Discontinued Reviews section

All these wonderful changes will be fully detailed in a page telling you just what’s come to the site in the form of this hideous and yet wonderful update.

*

X-Con, for those of you interested in getting it, is not actually here. Apparently it’s coming out tomorrow. If any of you are disappointed at this news, let me know and I’ll inform you of Stuart’s e-mail address and you can lynch him via electronic mail.

*

I’m currently running some auctions on eBay; 2 for my mum, 1 for me. So, if you’re at all interested in Lladro ornaments of girls or swans, look no further than my mum’s auctions, linked back there. If, however, you want to score a £30 Amazon voucher for less than £30 (currently you’ll have to bid £29 on it), click here.

Site stuff, then real life stuff

First and foremost, I forgot to talk about this previously when I discussed upcoming site updates; when I update the site in CSS in December – assuming I do, as I hope to be able to – I will be implementing skins next year, which will be very nice and lovely if you don’t like the current design but would like me to do a tonne of work on alternate designs just to make you feel happy and such.

The September update will also see some ad pages thrown into the mix. There won’t be too many, but I’ll be adding them in various hotspots just between pages, to help get some attention and cover hosting fees – though my AdSense stuff has served over 13,000 page views, the click-through rate is 0.11%; thus I have currently accrued less than $4. This does not cover the $10ish (£4.99) monthly hosting fee. Thankfully, I will bless you with text very big and obvious that will allow you to skip ads to head to the content you’re wanting.

September will also see a brand new, more serious comic series, and will likely separate most of the Halo-themed comics from the Boring Comics series. No update schedule yet, but I’m working on the story and I think two updates per week will be likely. It will reduce Boring Comics to a once-per-week update cycle, though I may add an extra day for the comic so production doesn’t slow down horribly on the middle child.

Also; as I said, July got over 4,800 hits in total. August, in its first 20 days, has matched this and so I expect to surpass 6,000 hits this month.

In reference to yesterday’s post; I was told by the owner of HBO, the site featured in Boring Comics #13, that he found it funny, so though Monday’s offering did not please, Wednesday’s offering got a laugh from the man, so at that, I am pleased with myself. The Wednesday comic, perhaps in light of a positive remark from HBO’s Louis Wu, is now this month’s most viewed in a single day, too, so I now know I can either write crap or write gold to draw in views, though nothing in between. Oddly, this is not helpful.

*

Just lately I wish I hadn’t adopted the Xbox 360 when I did.

Obviously, I love the console and though it has seen a red ring of death and had to be replaced by the wonderfully quick Microsoft staff, it’s one of my favourites things. It’s given me hours of fun over my host of games, provided me a fantastic Xbox Live experience far surpassing that of the original Xbox and a tonne of great features.

Still, when I bought it, it was £279.99 – though I got it in a £299.99 deal with two games and an extra controller (which broke earlier this year, incidentally) – and was, as I bought it at the end of 2006, the 20GB model lacking a HDMI port.

Nowadays, you can snag an Elite – a better looking black version of the 360 for less than this, and it not only has an HDMI port, but a hard drive six times bigger than my own. Not only that, but you can get the model I own, albeit with the added HDMI port, and now a 60GB hard drive for £179.99. This is £100 less than what I paid, and it is a substantially better deal, both due to decreased cost and spectacular improvements.

This, of course, does not affect you, as you don’t care that I’m jealous of all the people buying 360s right now and heading into the future. I just wanted to complain.

I downloaded the ten-day trial of World of Warcraft after almost two years of delaying it. I, unfortunately, like it, though I’m hoping I get bored by the end of the trial, as I’d rather not spend £8.99 a month on a game that I may become hopelessly addicted to as so many others have. I’ll post my server at some point, and if you don’t mind hanging with a low-level character (currently I’m level 7) in Goldshire or areas around there, post a comment and I’ll hook you up with my details.

My Sea Monkeys tank arrived yesterday, and in roughly eight hours I’ll be putting the eggs in. So that’s cool. Tsubasa Chronicle volume 4 didn’t arrive, though, so I’m hoping the bastard shows up today. If you would like to please me, feel free to check out my Amazon wishlist, where you could, if you are so kind, snag me a copy of volume 5 of Tsubasa Chronicle, thus stopping me from having to wait a month or so before I buy it. You can also buy me a copy of the first volume of Great Teacher Onizuka, which I’m told is funny, or perhaps even a copy of Tomb Raider: Anniversary on the 360 for me to play after I’ve puzzled my way through Tomb Raider: Legend.

Alternatively, if you don’t like buying things for other people but you do like buying things for yourself, look no further than the Boring Internet store, where you can currently score yourself a pillow depicting the Queen’s true identity, or a wonderful set of coasters topped with the happiest seagull in the world.

This post has a fucking tonne of tags.

Sibling Rivalry

“Sibling Rivalry”, the latest horrible poem to grace the pages of the website, is one that never ceases to make me giggle due simply to the oddness of it. The poem itself, along with previously released “Harry the Fish” and a slew of others that will eventually crop up on the site, was written on my mum’s typewriter at a certain boot sale that gets a mention in an article.

The X-Con cover art is finally complete, and so for the next few weeks, the first few chapters of X-Con will be released on the site, then a link to buy the book from Lulu will be added. I would joke that the cover art is better than the book, since I made it, but he would get annoyed at me and take it seriously.

For anyone interested, though X-Con is only having a few sample chapters released, the entirety of Twist will be released on the site over the next 6 months or so (coming to a conclusion roughly in February next year), as well as being released via Lulu in a print-on-demand paperback format. I’m not in charge of what gets released of X-Con, only how and when, though eventually I hope to crush Stuart’s fallible spirit and get him to allow me to release more chapters for you.

The store will have a new addition this week or next, with any luck, though I’m screwed on what I want to do. I’ve got the art, but the question is whether I want to make a 2009 calendar print with it, a mini poster or a framed print. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

I’m debating getting Guitar Hero 3, though I’ve just been told it’s the worst in the franchise apart from the recently released Guitar Hero: Aerosmith. Help on this matter would also be appreciated, because I cannot choose something to fucking save my life. If I was given the death sentence and asked to choose the method of death, it would be hours before I finally settled on something.

If anyone knows of any online sources of information about mental illness and its causes, or any books I can read, let me know. In order to release a long-winded article on the site, I need to prove my thoughts correct on something.

The store is live

This post comes pretty damn late in the day, so it’ll be counted towards Sunday’s update rather than an extra piece to Saturday’s latest chapter of Twist.

The store is now live and can be found by either clicking here or going to the following URL: http://www.cafepress.com/BoringInternet

The oldest readers will remember that this store was previously linked on the first website design. When the second design came, however, I did not include a link, planning on adding more products and putting the link back up at some point. Now, a couple of weeks into design number three, the store is officially back.

At the moment, there are only two products. A third will be added shortly when I rework the ‘BLAME OTHERS’ poster to match the site’s original placeholder graphic before it went live (sadly, this no longer exists on the server, otherwise I would point you toward it). For now, though, you can snag yourself a comfortable throw pillow depicting the Queen’s true, secret identity (available here: http://www.cafepress.com/boringinternet.290565578 ) or a coaster depicting the world’s happiest seagull (available here: http://www.cafepress.com/boringinternet.290567811 ).

Items in the store, though priced in dollars, can be purchased by anyone in the world, albeit with increased postage costs. Sadly, because I don’t own the host site, the only say I get is what the pricing is fixed at for each product. Therefore, if you’re ordering from elsewhere in the world, in order to get a better deal I would honestly wait until the store fills up a bit more and there are a few things you want before ordering.

I have looked into a UK version of the store, but aside from differences in products, which would become confusing and perhaps slightly odd, the prices are too high in an English store, and any postage saved would make up the product cost – looking into a UK site version of the throw pillow, I found the basic price was £14.75 – whereas, given the current exchange rate, you can snag the one on the CafePress store for £8.86, and that’s including the 75p or so I get from each sale. The UK pillow, while being almost £6 more, is also several inches smaller than the US one.

So, for now, the US-based store is the only one there will be. Incidentally, if you have any art/product requests that you’re actually interested in buying, post them in the comments here and I’ll see what I can do for you.

For the record, when the print-on-demand versions of X-Con and Twist arrive on the scene, as Lulu hosts a multitude of websites in many different countries, there will be no worries about increased shipping costs due to international shipping rates being too damn high.