“The Worst Party Ever”

The party referenced in today’s article, 10 Ways to Enjoy Your 19th Birthday, was a damn awesome affair if I may say so myself, despite the mess, my sister arriving home pre-party having been told twenty times not to come home – culminating in me breaking one of my drumsticks in immense rage -, and making an idiot out of myself many times over.

Photos will eventually crop up on Flickr. They’re already floating about on my Facebook, along with a bunch some other people have taken which I need to steal from them – including the most smug picture of me I have ever seen, which I love – but I tend not to want to give my other-website-profiles out to complete strangers.

Oh, and it wasn’t actually The Worst Party Ever actually; Willow’s album have christened it “Nick’s Actually Very Good Party”, and Kirst’s have named it “Nick’s Unworst Party Ever”. This led to Hayley telling me the next morning that I even failed at throwing the worst party ever. I am slightly ashamed.

The guestlist, as it just sounds like a fest of women: Me, Alex, Will, Hayley, Kirst, Jenni and Willow.

Be wary of broken browsing

Those of you who are stil checking the homepage will notice that it’s been replaced with a teaser page for the relaunch.

What this firstly means is that we are definitely going to be returning on December 1st, with our brand new layout, and a host of new features for you.

What it secondly, and more importantly means, is that background work is now going on, such as placing the new versions of webpages and such up. Thus, if you try manually navigating to a page you used to visit, you will likely find the site in a state of disrepair as alterations are made over the course of the next five days.

Case in point: the links.htm file, which is an IFrame in both the previous site design and this new design, has been changed to something drastically different, and will result in your inability to navigate the site anymore.

All kinds of epic

There are now just 8 days left until the relaunch of Boring Internet, and as such it’s time to begin prepping you fuckers for the event.

Firstly, and most importantly, layout changes. I had previously stated that there would be no layout changes with this update because of the seemingly constant changes made (2008 has so far seen 3 drastically different designs). The new layout will be based largely on the old one, and as such the changes will not be made graphically, but in the structure. The website is a maze of content, making browsing difficult; as such, a new navigation bar will be added along the left side of the website, removing the current tiny box for links. There will also be some new ‘things’ along the right-hand side, but I won’t elaborate on those yet because I’m a sly motherfucker.

Secondly, and still fairly important; features. With the update comes a much looser update schedule. Expect updates daily still, but don’t expect things to be quite so firm as I flit between our wealth of features and content doing what I please when I like. As such, some previously weekly features (ie. the A-Z) will not be strictly weekly anymore. Comics that are released on set days, however, will still hold true to their particular days.

New features are also abound, one of which is the mythical thing on the right-hand side of the site. I won’t elaborate on that yet (it’ll likely be a surprise), but it’s not an awesome feature, just something quite nice for those of you who like – oh wait, I’ve said too much already. Otherwise, Luke’s new strange offering, The Adventures of Fuckwit the Wizard, will be joining the armada of comics, and Stuart’s new novella, The Cell, will be joining our fiction department.

Thirdly, miscellaneous crap. Particularly, skins, which I have been excited about for a while. They almost definitely won’t be coming in this update but will instead hopefully turn up later in December or early next year. I apologise for that, but during the sabbatical I didn’t do much work on stuff for the update, aside from planning.

I would also like to take this opportunity to apologise for the sabbatical: what was hoped to be little more than a two-week break has extended into a six-week sordid affair. However, in 8 days it will come to an end, bringing about an end to poverty and hunger worldwide, and also causing spontaneous world peace.

Then, when people realise the site content is still relatively shit, those fixes will cease to exist. Life’s a bitch.

Relaunch

In 3 weeks

Boring Internet is back

THE BIASED

BORING COMICS

THE A-Z OF WHY THE INTERNET IS SHIT

SILLY POEMS AND NOT-SO-NICE NURSERY RHYMES

They’re all back

Along with brand new features

THE CELL, by Stuart Pryke

and

THE ADVENTURES OF FUCKWIT THE WIZARD, by Luke Hailey

3 weeks

21 days

Put it in your fucking diaries

December 1st 2008: We Are Reborn

December 1st 2008.

Boring Internet is reborn.

Be there.

Relaunch

Yes, we’re coming back.

 No, it won’t be during November.

 Yes, the blog will still be posted on from time-to-time to inform you of updates.

 No, the relaunch won’t be super interesting.

 Yes, it will coincide with the Winter 2008 update.

 No, loads of new stuff is not abound (though plans may change).

 Yes, it will be awesome.

The Back Seat

Hey folks!!

Now that the blogpost has begun with an overly happy note to make everything seem fine, I would just like to inform you that everything is not fine and I am currently suffering from the wonderfully shitty thing we like to call depression. Without starting some kind of new Diary of an Emo series, I will tell you that my life is ever so, ever so shit right now and I am in no mood to do anything other than the necessary functions for my temporary continued survival.

With this in mind, the website is taking a back seat until I can actually force myself to not only try to be funny, but to do it regularly and churn things out. Do not expect updates of any kind for the time being. This, unfortunately, includes The Biased, which is my magnum opus on the site.

Once things are back on track and my brain isn’t being fucked over by thoughts of plague and death and other emo shit like that, regular service will be resumed.

[Tobias Stanhope/Randall Anderson/Eli Picking - they're all dead]

October

A few random website tidbits you ought to be informed of, for the month of October.

Firstly, Twist is going on a hiatus this month. October 25th will see the release of chapter 20, then the novel will take a break for the PoD version of Twist to be released. As promised multiple times in the past, the entirety of Twist will be published for free on the website; for now, though, there will be a multiple-month break, ending sometime in early 2009, before the rest of the novel sees a continued release.

Secondly, The Biased’s first chapter will be finished this month, the final page released on October 30th. This chapter will thusly be 16 pages long – that’s at a squeeze, having to force the final part of this chapter’s story down into as few pages as possible without hindering it at all. Chapter 2 will then begin in November, the cover and first page both released on November 3rd, and the usual page-per-update from then onwards.

Thirly, relating more to the future, I am looking for new writers on the site. Let me know somehow if you’re interested.

You’re on the wrong website again

This is where you’re supposed to be.

Do you love owning STUFF?

A huge fan of stuff? That’s great! So are we, here at Boring Internet!

And that’s why you can now find a bunch of new stuff in our Boring Internet store! From today, you can pick up a whole host of new items; we’ve launched 4 new products in the store and re-released a product that was in the store around April this year.

What’s more, as we’ve launched a shitload of awesome new stuff, everything’s available for special low prices until October 15th to celebrate!

So what’s available, and for how much?

*

THE NEW STUFF

Journal: DIARY OF AN EMO – Fan of Misunderstood’s Diary of an Emo series here on Boring Internet? Well now you can snag your very own Diary of an Emo journal, complete with a cover design by Misunderstood himself! 160 pages, with page formats you can pick from (blank, lined, dot grid or task journal), the journal is available now for the price of $9.99. (From October 16th onwards, this item will be priced at $10.99)

Calendar Print: X-CON – Did you buy a copy of the X-Con novel? Or just a fan of the fantastic logo I put together for the front cover of the book? Whichever it is, you can now snag a 2009 calendar print of the logo. It’s available now for the price of $4.49. (From October 16th onwards, this item will be priced at $4.99)*

Wall Clock: DISPLACING BLAME – Here’s advice you can use, on a handy wall clock! You can now check out some of the best advice in the world, pasted on a fantastic wall clock. It’s available now for the price of $11.74. (From October 16th onwards, this item will be priced at $12.49)

Mini Button: DISPLACING BLAME – Here’s advice you can use, on a fancy mini button! Now you can flash this off with your mini button collection, showing the best advice in the world to anyone admiring your collection. It’s available now for the price of $1.59. (From October 16th onwards, this item will be priced at $1.74)

Mini Poster: DISPLACING BLAME – Here advice you can use, on a great mini wall poster print! Now you can stick the world’s best advice on any one of your walls for your viewing pleasure! It’s available now for the price of $5.49. (From October 16th onwards, this item will be priced at $5.99)

THE OLD STUFF

Tile Coaster: SEAGULL – The world’s happiest seagull will hold your drink without ever faltering its grin. To celebrate the release of these great new products, you can snag these tile coasters for the newly reduced price of $4.79. (From October 16th onwards, this item will return to the price of $4.99)

Throw Cushion: THE QUEEN IS AN ALIEN – Show everyone you know the Queen’s greatest secret with this comfortable throw cushion. To celebrate the release of these great new products, you can snag this throw cushion for the newly reduced price of $16.79. (From October 16th onwards, this item will return to the price of $17.49)

*

So if you want some kickass stuff, head over to the store now and grab these items while they’re all funky reduced prices!

* The 2009 X-Con Calendar Print will be available for a limited time only and will likely be replaced around late November – early December 2008. This item is the first in a limited line of X-Con logo products and these will not be re-released in the future.